Chess Metaphors

Before I prattle on about the metaphors and dimensional aspects of chess, I would like to point out that it appears that this classically men's game is actually a women's game. Why...? 

You will notice that a pawn can become queen, or any other piece except king, upon (!) making it to the opponents side.

Since sex changes were not possible during the inception of this game; and since that pawn can never become the one certainly-male piece - but can become any other, including the one that is certainly female - it appears that the only male on the board is the king. The king has little power, is quite vulnerable, and does not have any form of potential.  Of course, in this apparently Amazon-esque society, the king would be imperative for populating society, but nothing else. Since the primary goal of the game is to capture the other king, not obtain territory nor kill the warriors, perhaps then, the goal of chess is to acquire breeding stock!!

Wormhole Chess

Chess is quite reflective of the dimensions. The board, a finite realm of two dimensions, is similar to a finite view of the universe. There are two basic types of movements on this field : The finite players and the infinite players. The finites are the king, the pawn and the horse; who move in single bounds of a pre-established length. The infinites are the queen, the bishop and the rook; who move in bound of any length, theoretically able to escape the two-dimensional limits imposed by the board. We'll now examine the directions in which they may move.

A pawn is biased forwards. It may only go straight unless altered in course by removing another piece at either of its' forward diagonals. It starts out with the option of a two-square move, as if running out into battle, but then continues at a single square pace.

A rook moves infinitely either forwards or sideways; the bishop is similar in movement to the rook, but is offset by 45 degrees. The queen is a precise superimposition of the rook and the bishop. The king is a queen with a single square limit, or, simply put, a ring around itself.

I'll ignore the horse. Just kidding. The horse is special - very special - relativity special.

When playing chess, one moves the horse at 30 or 60 degrees, or two squares forward, then one to the left or right. But unlike, say, the queen, who influences, or is influenced by, anything along her path and at her possible destination, the horse only influences, or is influenced by, anything at its' possible destination. It moves around on a two-dimensional plane, but it can do so despite any pieces in between. It jumps.

This jumping is exclusive to the horse. It leaves the two-dimensional universe, disappearing temporarily into the third dimension, then reappears in the second dimension. In the world of theoretical physics, it has wormholed - gone into a relative hyperspace to which is its' own unique privilege - then re-entered the drab existence of the two-dimensional realm. The horse influences and travels through the wormholes of the chessboard. So much for high-tech.

[note: Does this suggest that both signal and material (energy and matter) can pass through a wormhole?]

Animal Strategies

The Claw: Pieces reach behind one of the opponents flanks, drawing the king forwards and into the chest with little opposition. Not effective when victim is covered with defensive mechanisms (passive or active fortification), which represent the shell of a turtle, the needles of a porcupine or the spines of an urchin. Very effective on flexible but defenseless prey.

The Aardvark: The sticky, agile tongue (queen) reaches into enemy territory, retreating and carrying with it numerous vulnerable prey. This process continues until the source is depleted and the defense is scattered and prone.

The Tiger: Closing in with great stealth and unpredictability, the tiger is perfectly camouflaged by its incomprehensibility. The pounce is precise, singular and final. Victims are caught unaware, and of course, unprepared.

The Venus Fly Trap: A tempting bait enclosed within a feigned vulnerability lures the aggressive prey into position, then closes around it, swallowing it whole. It can be eliminated, kept as a blocking agent or rescue-bait, or held for later removal as part of a strategic delay. An active form of a spider web technique.